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 I’m extremely fed up with most things around me. I could pull my hair out and scream. I bottle up all of my frustration and irritation, so when I’m alone or something little as bump my toe I cry….. it just spills out, almost like a waterfall.

 I know I’m going insane. There’s no other explanation for it. When i get asked what’s wrong, I say what’s wrong. But i get asked again and again and again. It’s like no one here’s what I’m saying. I’m being clear when I speak. BUT no one seems to give a shit. Anxiety attack? Nope, no one gives a fuck, cause you still scream, insulting me. I’ve gone straight back to things I did to solve the pain. I’m done. I give up on it all. My humanity is gone, I don’t care for it.

Happy? I don’t care.

Insulted? I don’t care.

Scared? I don’t care.

Sad? I don’t care.

Mad? I don’t care.

Love? I don’t care.

 I have myself. I trust only myself. And talk to no one.

I choose to talk to no one. I hold in soooooo much. I know people will say “You can talk to me”, “I’m here for you”, blah blah blah. But honestly, I don’t know if they’re really someone to talk to or they just want to be nosey and know my business.
So I do what a can. Stay quiet, think to myself. But I try to not think so much so that I don’t explode with all that’s built up inside.
I feel like I’m going mad.
I always listen to others problems. No one I ever cared for did listen to me when I need help. So now I choose to keep it all in.
I’m just ranting now cause I’ve been asked to talk but they don’t listen when I say no and explain why. Goes in one ear and out the other. It’s sickening

I feel as if I’m falling more and more down that little nasty hole some people like to call “depression”. Everyone around me lately is driving me away. Why does everyone blame everyone else? You are the problem, YOU are the one to blame! STOP putting it on others.
I’m also seeing people try to one-up one another. I don’t get it. Why are you trying to compete? It’s really sad. And makes you look stupid. I’m not the only one who’s noticed. How people are acting around me here lately are really making me question A LOT of things.

(via xlaurelx)